I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
