My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize