Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
