worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
