their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
