Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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