I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
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then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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