Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
