What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
