i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
