Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Green mimosas i think yes
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
