i jhust puked up my retainher.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize