That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize