Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
