doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize