Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
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My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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