I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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