return my video game
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
