don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Randomize
