Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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