apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize