I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The uberlube is also flammable
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
