is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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