did you get engaged???
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
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An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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