Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
