why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
