There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
