please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
