i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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