I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
