this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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