apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
