So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
