ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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