people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
