Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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