ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
