apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Found the puke drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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