I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize