Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can you bring me the toilet please
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
