Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
