making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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