I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
