I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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