Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize