Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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