my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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