her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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