the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
