I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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