Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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