i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
