I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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