you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
