how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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