just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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