I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
