i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
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Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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