She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
