im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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